Marathi Mula( guys)

This is for my dear friend who wants me to write this in order to kill time.
This is also for all the Moms who are on a mission to find eligible Marathi guy for their (poor) daughters.

Characteristics of a Marathi Mulaga …

1) Will talk any language in a Marathi accent.

2) Literary translate every sentence. “Like that only! “ ( Asach) , “I went into garden naa” “ Actually no” ( Khara Tar )

3) Are utter BORING. Their acute brains love topics - Cricket or Bollywood history and …Oh no! list ends right there. These are extremely patriotic young people whose world ends where PMC’s or BMC’s border ends!

4) Has a life already written as a flowchart (with no decision boxes). School, College, Job, marriage, job, children, job until retirement age.
“Why to start a business when I can make money by working 8 hours? “Getting married is the wisest decision coz all others get married.”

5) Will not drink (not even wine or beer) If asked Why - would always say it is a personal choice – “I just prefer not to eat non veg!” “ No I don’t care about being a Brahmin” , “ No, I am not scared of my parents”
Fact: Not adventurous. Not bold enough to try any food which does not have coconut / peanuts / onions. Will definitely argue about why alcohol is bad.

6) Will never date a non Marathi girl (forget about non Indians). Mostly coz parents will not approve otherwise.
Fact: its other way around. No girl (including Marathi) would find these guys interesting or date worthy!

7) Will marry a marathi girl (only after aai , baba, kaka kaku , mama mami and aaji approves) Will invite atleast 600 people for wedding and have Srikhand ani aluchi bhaji as menu.

8) Will never have live - in relationships. Will not buy an apt or house if their parents are living in same city. Does not know how to impress or flirt. If you don’t know what “ baaLu” or “ ShemLat” means….spend time with a Marathi guy for 15 mins.

9) Will wait for other person to pick up a check in restaurant. Will never trust a person unless that person has been a friend for at least 3 years!!!

10) Will have millions reasons to NOT to do things. Will always argue about how their opinion is perfect. There is no concept of “ experimenting”
“I like adventures – I used to trek in Maharashtra. No - never tried here”
“Backpacking in Europe….Baap re!! Would be so expensive naa…..”
“Why basketball? Aapala Cricket is a very good exercise!”
“Not a fan of Rock…never really got a chance to listen …U know its hard to keep up with hindi songs”

[Disclaimer: Not Personal. Not subjected towards anyone particular. Most of this rant is true for any Marathi (not just guys) or even Indians in general. I am just tired of all the bashing I have been getting lately]

Life was, is and will be a Bad Joke.....

After 21 years of education, couple of degrees n certifications, 4 years of work experience I have realized one thing:

All I want in life is nice spacious Kitchen with all the necessary gadgets n ingredients. All I want to do is Cook!!

This has been the most important decade than other 2 in my life.
2009 was wonderful!!Looking forward to 2010...
Resolution is to Complain more ...and be more lazy....
Should be easy to keep these!!

Underrated –

I happen to attend Blackmore’s Night concert. I went in with zero (or negative) expectations. But I am feeling blessed to watch Ritchie performing live. Great guitarist….I might not be an apt music critic but I can definitely tell that he rocks!! He is outstanding…
He is rated 55th in Greatest Guitarist of all time…..I disagree! All Rolling stones list are highly biased towards 70s (oldschool) and never gets updated with the new music. It is also based on ‘popular’ music….probably no one heard enough of Deep Purple or Blackmore’s night!
Renaissance, Medieval, European Classical and heavy metal….He blends it just perfectly….Extra Ordinary!

Overrated

Martin Luther King – civil rights against racial discrimination
Mother Theresa – spent life as a missionary of charity
Aung San Suu Kyi – decades of struggle for democracy and human rights
Nelson Mandela – spent life against Racial Segregation
Muhammad Yunus – for economic development of women
Barack Obama – ummm, not sure….

“For his extra ordinary efforts to strengthen diplomacy”.
“For being inspiration and hope for World Peace.
“For recognizing his efforts” (Does he really needs this? )

He is the president of most powerful nation……Is this not on his Job Duty list? Its been just 10 months that he took this position (compared to others who spent whole life for some notable cause) He has all the power and money that can bring the change. And really- has there been any major, noteworthy and lasting changes?
Why not give all that money and honor to some organization that really needs it

All the other Nobel peace laureates had extreme /hostile conditions.
Most of the laureates had been presidents/ prime ministers or some position in politics. But their work did not use this political advantage.

There is certain respect for Nobel Prize – which I kinda lost when I heard his nomination (and then the win)

When life gives you lemons ....make a lemonade!!

Do not think bout the orange juice you had before OR pray for Strawberry lemonade OR dream about Chardonnay!!

Life is good and Lemonade is great ....when you learn to enjoy!!

I sent my pictures to dozen friends….only one said “seems you are not eating well….take care”
Only one friend who would be waiting for your call on birthday ….and will understand n not get mad even if you call late…..
At the end of the day it is such a great feeling to have a true friend!
Miss you a lot, Gayatri!

I was on National TV!!

So I got (why me is not important) the suite n floor tickets of Cleveland Cavaliers Vs Boston Celtics game ( April 12) Game looks so different from 2nd row!!
I was sitting next to Z and Varejao …took around 200 pictures of Z!
I could hear players talking and cussing!
I was on TV with LeBron!
Varejao gave me his headband
Took picture with Dan Gilbert.
Unlimited food n drinks!
Cavs dominated 76-107
Amazing Amazing experience!! Check out the pictures…..

Cavs Vs Celtics

I was crazy about a sport ….about a sportsman
I was crazy about a song ….a movie….an actor….
I was crazy about a hobby….about job…..about school….for the dream
I was crazy for that place ….about that day ….that moment ….that memory…..
I was crazy about a guy….about a man….about a friend …..about friendship…about love…..
Everything in the end proved how stupid I am and how insane is being crazy . Learning from the mistakes, I am making a wise promise to myself to stop being passionate and start being rational………
……until that proves me stupid me again!

Seriously?

• Citi bank’s share below $ 1
• To join a H1 consultant you need to appear for an entrance exam.
• Best Buy has special parking space for “Expectant Mothers”
• Warren Buffet owns Geico & Dairy Queen ….unrelated business strategy king!
• Disney owns ESPN. Also E!
• Mariah Carey’s new album name is E= MC2 with the featured song “Touch my body”. I would like to know what Albert thinks about this. Katie Perry was a gospel singer. Sure she understands a lot about Christian revelations!

P.S. Very lame attempt to write something not SAD or NERDY

How to weigh emotions & moments? Especially, when there is No output, No returns or gains. Where is the ROI?? For every minute I invested, for every feeling I had?? How to compensate all that time on balance sheet? Why there is no ‘cash flow’ for feelings? Why the ‘present value’ of all past feelings assets is Null?

If only God Inc. had smart engineers……

I recently had many issues with my laptop. ( and so with my brain !!) Well…was so easy troubleshooting and fixing hard drive!
• Desperately need a search function within my brain cells. Would be nice if I can search within my brain cells using keywords like {May, birthdays} or { article , capitalism , facts I read }
• Need a reminder / stimuli embedded in brain that would send some response on a date I owe payments or time when I cross calorie count for the day etc etc.
• F5 – for refreshing my thoughts and mind every time I yawn!!
• Esc – when I want to stop thinking bout crap and want to concentrate on better topic.
• CTRL + ALT +DEL would be nice. Restarting the processes – whenever I want to!
• For all the Devil thoughts, unimportant headaches – search and destroy or neuron McAFee.
• Any RAM upgrade possible??
• Shift + Delete – to get rid of all those moments and people in past I am trying to forget – selective memory erasure?

You better get used to it!!

What exactly needs to be done when someone gives you this advice? According to phrasectionary it means “That’s how things are…accept it!”And “Get over it” which means “accept it and move on to more productive pursuits”

So does it mean – be insensitive? Be thick skinned, keep your eyes closed and ignore so that it won’t bother you? If you are trying too hard about getting over or getting used to – does it mean you “accept” it? If you are killing your every wish, dream and thought – does it mean you “accept” it?

Why there is no better advice? I DON’T want to get used to it – I want the alternate solution

Random

I am extremely bored.....This is the list someone "tagged" me with almost a year ago....Guess I am finding time for it now!!
( and yes - you all are tagged - if you have absolutely nothing better to do with your time....)

1.Been arrested?
Huh? What a start….NO. But that would be adventurous.

2 . Thought your cousin was hot?
No. But I am pretty sure; all my cousins think I am Hot!!!

3. Been in love?
Duh! YES

4. Gone over the speed limit?
Yes. Everyday.

5. Painted your room?
Nope. I would like to.

6. Danced in front of your mirror?
Almost every day.

7. Gotten in a car with people you just met?
Umm…. Yeah. Is that a big deal?

8. Snuck out of your house?
Yes. Snuck in – Yes.

9. Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back?
Yes. Hurts. Badly.

10. Been dumped?
That hurts more.

11. Left your house without telling your parents?
Thousands of times. Whats wrong in that?

12. Had a crush on your neighbor?
Yeah. When I was a teenager.

13. Slept in a bed with a member of the same or opposite sex ?
Yeah….both.
Ohh…what does “slept in…” means??

14. Seen someone die?
Nope.

15. Kissed a picture?
Haha!! Infinite times!!

16. Slept in until 3?
AM or PM? Yes…both

17. Love someone or miss someone right now?
YES.

18. Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by?
Yeah. Watching stars is what I enjoy more.

19. Played dress up?
Oh yes! I used to love it.

20. Cheated while playing a game?
Yes. Well, at least I don’t deny it.

21. Been lonely?
Yes. Every evening. Hate it completely.

22. Fallen asleep at work/school?
Yes. Come on….who in the world would say no??

23. Been to a club?
Now, there are 100 kinds of clubs. I have been to all descent ones.

24. Felt an earthquake?
Yes, twice I guess. Would never forget 1993’s. At dawn and in ganeshotsav.

25. Touched a snake?
Yes. Slimy. Didn’t like it all.

26. Made out in a movie theater?
Almost. Well...define it first...

27. Been in a car accident?
Yes.

28. Hated the way you look?
Yes.

29. Witnessed a crime?
Yes.

30. Been lost?
Haha!!! Always.

31. Been to the opposite side of the country?
India? US? Both No.....

32. Felt like dying from embarrassment?
few times.

33. Cried yourself to sleep?
Hmm. multiple times.

34. Sang karaoke?
Nope. Would never do that.

35. Done something you told yourself you wouldn't do?
Yes. But No karaoke….

36. Kissed in the rain?
Hmm.

37. Sung in the shower?
Everyday.

38. Played getting married?
HUH?? Gimme a break….

39. Ever gone to school partially nude?
Nooooo.

40. Ever been too scared to watch scary movies alone?
Umm…yes.

41. Had crush on married man/ woman
Dravid , Brad Pitt…..All good men are married. So yes!

42. Been told you're hot by a complete stranger?
Yeah.

43. Broken a bone?
Yeah. Bones.

44. Been easily amused?
That’s me!

45. Laugh so hard you cry?
Yeah!

46. Cheated on a test?
Hell yes!!

47. Played an instrument for more than 10 hours?
Nope. Don’t think I would ever do that.

48. Cheated on a girlfriend/boyfriend?
Same as answer 47.

49. Did you celebrate the 4th of July?
Yes…. It’s a long week end!!

50. Felt like someone?
Yeah. No. what does this mean??

51. Thought about running away?
Many times.

52. Cried over someone?
I donno what crying over means.

53. Own an instrument?
No.

54. Drank 25 sodas in a day?
No. I don’t drink pop.

55. Shot a gun?
Naa. But surely would love to try once.

56. Been on facebook or orkut for more than 5 hours?
Nope. Waste….

57. Have a major crush on someone right now?
Yes

58. Thought about what people would say at your funeral?
Nope. Never. But now I am thinking.

59. Got frustrated because someone didn’t kiss you?
Yes.

60. Followed someone secretely
Yes! Its fun…. :P

Moments

In last 4 months…

· Unforgettable Moment
Watching Federer Play….
· Amazing Moment
White water rafting
· Damn Moment
Power outage. Locked out of garage. The only key to open garage is in car. And car is the garage!
· Double Damn moment
3 days without power in my apartment, no heat, no car ……
Workplace has no power issues ……….I did not get a single day off…..
· Ouch moment
I gave my phone number to a guy I am crazy about – and he threw it away in a trash can!
· Arghhhhhh moment
Everyone seems to agree upon “kadak laxmi”
· Proud moment
My parents keep telling me that my niece Gargi reminds them a lot me as a child! Makes me feel nice…..
· Dreading moment
Soon my close friends will be leaving me and I will be all alone here…..

Supporting Cast

We are surrounded by people all the time. People, sooner or later, turn into friends. Friends have varied roles in our life. Now these are the “Supporting Cast Roles”

· Advisors – Helps you to establish personal priorities and use informal networks to make progress toward your goals.
· Catalysts – bring best in you. Serve as sparkplugs for your thoughts and actions.
· Celebrators – Celebrates your accomplishments and make them more meaningful.
· Cheerleaders – Support and nurture when times are tough. Provide encouragement to help you through crisis.
· Constructive Critics – dare you to rethink your plans and decisions. Provide you the honest feedback.
· Esteem Builders – support and reinforce your self-image. Help you to believe you can succeed.
· Role models – people whose success and life you want to replicate. Ones who model values, norms and behaviors that you adore.

Its absolute sad –I cannot jot down more than 5 friends (5 includes parents) Most of the names just get repeated in the list. 27 years – 5 friends -who care about you, who know real “you”

Should I be proud of these 5 or be disappointed with rest of the circle? And another thought – Who all would include me in their list?
Hmm.

Vacuity

Everyday has its feel. Everyone knows how Monday is….I love Monday afternoons. Coz I get exact picture of how this week is going to suck!

Tuesday and Wednesday have this “slow n get over with” feel. Thursday is the damn busy day. And Friday is the one when life suddenly gets on track n everything starts going smooth! Saturdays are exciting and I hate hate Sundays. All I think on Sunday is how my Monday is going to be! Its unfair how much attention a Monday gets!!

But these days….no day has its feel or any feel. Friday or Monday - is the same. Week has no sensation or no savor. Enjoyments are uninspiring. Entertainments are passable. Indifferent to loneliness. There is nothing to look forward to.

Is this going to turn into months? Coz I love august. I want to live “august” !!

As I said before .........He deserve this!!!

Hats off to Nadal and Federer!! Terrific Game!

Wimbledon 2008

Watch this guy in ALL tournaments for the next year......

He is the champion.


His service ....simply rocks!!!


Being cute and wearing sleazy clothes does not help in win.

Attitude

Isn’t it strange that when a girl acquires some authority – she is often instantly tagged “Bossy”!!
While, if it is a guy holding same responsibilities, he is praised for his leadership qualities.

Also, dominating natured girl gets this comment frequently – “I feel sorry for you husband….you would be micromanaging each n everything all the time!!”
And for a guy who ‘dictates’ plans to everyone around him gets “How lucky his wife would be to have such a well organized husband”
Wow!!!
And what more surprising is about 98% of people around me are sexist!!